A Life Through Letters
by dazzleme15
Summary: Isabella Swan lives for one reason...the letters that she receives. She's in love with the man that writes them but there is one problem, he doesn't exist. Bella tries to move on but she can't help but pine after her letter writing love. ON HIATUS
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer – I don't own Twilight and I never will, so get over it. **

**This is a a story that popped into my head the other day. I hope you like it, and enjoy reading it like I enjoy wirting it. **

**I will continue my other stories but I have a serious block on them. **

There is that moment when you know that you are in love. In every relationship there's that one moment that you can look back on and say that, that is the moment that you knew you loved that person. It might be a few days into the relationship, it might be a few months but everyone who's been in love, or in a relationship knows what moment I'm talking about.

When that moment occurs with your soul mate, it's a life changing experience. Not that it isn't when it's with someone else, but with your soul mate it's magnified millions of times. Something inside of you shifts and you know you'll never love someone as much as the person who stands before you. Something in you tells you that you've found _the one_.

It can happen with someone at first sight. That's a phenomenon in love and it's ways. It sounds so cliché and unrealistic that you soon believe that it's a thing only in movies and books and doesn't happen in real life. It does, it's just one of those things that you only realise in retrospect. You can fall in love and admit it to yourself. Then look back and you can say that the moment you saw your love is the moment that you knew that you loved them. They may sound overly complicated, but love at first exists, I'm a firm believer in that, it's just rationalisation at first sight that doesn't exist.

I have to believe in love at first sight because I have experienced something far more unbelievable than that. I've experienced love at no sight. I'm in love with a stranger. I could pass him on the street and I wouldn't know that it was him. I could talk to him and interact with him and I would never know that he's the man I'm in love with. He could live next door or across the country and I would have no idea. I don't know what he looks like, I don't even know his name.

Impossible, I hear you say? That's what I thought. I'm far from shallow, but how can you fall in love with someone you have never seen. Through a series of communications over the course of 2 years, you can easily fall in love with a man that you have never seen and probably never will. Hell, I'm not sure if he is a man. Even if they are not, I love them and if I knew who it was, I would scream it from the roof top but my father already believes that I'm boarder line crazy from the letters that I have, so I can't risk telling him this story.

This story tells of a love at no sight and how you can fall in love with an idea, a person and a piece of paper. You can fall in love with words, and that can make you laugh and cry and happy and sad. It can make you who you are and it can destroy you but it's powerful and it's everlasting and I, Isabella Swan, tell a story of a boy and girl, two different worlds and a journey that nearly broken them both, their friends and their families. I tell you of a guy who is only known in my head as _forever yours _and a girl that starts letter with _Hello. _


	2. And so it begins

**Disclaimer – I don't own twilight. **

**So, this is the first letter in A life through letters. I think the format will be letter chapter letter chapter etc. but that may change so don't hold me to it. **

**I hope you enjoy. All feedback is welcome, even if you think there is something that I need to improve on, let me know and I'll try and do it. **

**Thanks for reading, enjoy. !**

Dear whom ever may read this,

I'm not sure if you want to read this, hell, I don't even know if someone is going to read this but I have to get something down on paper, or I'll scream in the face of the next person who tires to speak to me.

Someone has to know me, or know how I feel at the very least. I've always been a person who hides things. I keep my emotions to myself and let other people think that I'm okay. I'm not okay.

Maybe to understand a little more you need to know a few key facts about myself. I'll start with my age, I'm 16 years old. I won't give you my name, it's irrelevant really. I'm male and my parents, and note that I say parents live in an upper class world. They have weekly dinner parties, dates and other things like that. They have bridge clubs that aren't real bridge clubs but gathering of women who are slightly past it talking about the new gardener that has a perfect 6 pack and _v_ that makes them and I quote want to _'lick him all over'._ The men go off and play golf and discuss the latest world affairs and just plain old affairs that effect them. Namely the new nurse that resembles Barbie.

I'm meant to be part of this world. I'm meant to become part of this, and I hate that fact. I've never really hated anything more than that. Everything that this world is, is everything that I'm against. I believe in nothing that this world has to offer. My father's a doctor, well a surgeon and I admire that. Being a doctor is something that amazes me. The thought of having the power to heal someone with your very hands has me in awe. It amazes me. What doesn't amaze me is that my father takes that for granted and is bouncing hospitals off one another trying to get more money than anyone should ever be worth.

Every parent in this world that I belong in has a plan for their child, be it a son or a daughter, they have a plan for them. I have a plan, I've had one since I was born. How can a two month old have a life plan? It confuses me more than you can ever know.

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I'm intelligent. I love to learn and if the pleasure of learning a new fact ever disappears from my life then I don't know what I'll do. I love not only learning but teaching someone else what I've learnt. Passing on the wisdom.

I have a strange habit of quoting things. I read a lot and I've done countless amounts of research on great people with great minds, and come to think of it I've researched people who aren't so great but have the ability to speak in such an amazing way.

The likes of Austen and Dickens fascinate me. The words that they have formed on the page blow my mind and I wish that I had the ability to create and world on a page and explore the minds and character of people who are free to be who they want to be and free to do what they wasn't to do when they want to do that. I want to be able to write about rebellion. I want to write about hidden love and fantasy. I want to explore the ideas of the world and let people know my opinions of it. I want to be able to that and I don't want to be judged by my parents because I don't want to become what they want me to be. They want me to be a doctor, and as amazing as I think doctors are I don't think I can deal with the guilt of losing a life. I'm not sure saving one could out weight the guilt and sadness of losing one. I could not handle telling a family that their loved one is dead because I could not do my job well enough.

I have two passions, maybe three passions in my life. Writing or literature, learning and music. I play the piano and guitar. That's one things that I am thankful to my parents for, they put me in piano lessons since a young age and now I'm quite skilled at it. I can play classically and I can play the music of today's era. I try to sing but I'm not to sure how that is. My parents say that it's good but their entire world revolves around their ability to lie so I don't trust them to much. I compose to. I compose instrumentals and I write lyrical songs. They sound good in my mind so I hope they sound okay to those who listen.

I want very few things from life. I want to be able to write, play music, learn a new fact every day and tell my parents that I don't belong in their world and leave it. Take my guitar, let the case get tatty. I want to be able to live out of a suitcase. I want to fend for myself. I want an identity and I know that I will never find that here.

I just needed someone to know that I'm different. I wanted someone to know that I hate to bow down to the rules of society. I needed someone to know that and I'm glad that I've managed to get it out, at least I go some on my internal rant over with.

If you've read the entirety of this letter I guess I owe you a thank you. If you've just skipped to the end then I won't thank you quite yet but I think curiosity will get to you soon. I'll stop my unimportant, teen rant and let you continue in life.

I'll also apologise for this being all over the place. I get upset or overly emotional when I try to think about what I'll become so I tend to become unfocused and loose track of so much. I'm sorry.

_Thank you._

**Well? Good? Bad? Let me know, please! Thank you. **


	3. An honest reply

**So, I have decided to keep it letters. Keep a little bit of mystery. If you think it's completely the wrong things, let me know but this is the next installment. **

_Hello,_

_I've just read the letter that you left in the front of my house. I'm sure that I don't know you, because you sound intelligent enough to not put the letter on the door step of a next door neighbor. _

_I will admit that I was a little shocked at it. It's not something that you find everyday, a letter on your doorstep in a cream envelope unaddressed. _

_I don't know if there was any point in replying to this but I thought that it best if I did, just in case. I'm sure that you'll check to see if the letter is gone. I have some things to say in the response to what you said. _

_Maybe you'd like to know a few facts about me. Well, I'm a female and I'm 18 years old, yes a little older than you. I live a privileged life, much like you seem to. My dad has a good job and he takes care of me. My mother died when I was 3. It was hard to grow up without a mother but I get over it. I'm like that, honest, brutal. So, you know what to expect. If you don't want to know the God's honest truth and my opinion then don't read any further. _

_So, I'll go in order. You said that you hide your emotions. I was the same, and I'm so much better off now that I let them out. My dad's kind of closed off so I thought that it was normal until I hit high school. It taught me something about myself that nothing or nobody else could. I may not have gone to a public school but even the private school Charlie paid for wasn't that sheltered. I came out of my shell and it made me a happier person. Maybe you should try it, just a suggestion._

_Next issue to address would be the lifestyle that you described. I know what you mean, I'm around people like this day in and day out. I thought that I was subject to that lifestyle and I think I might still be but I think I've accepted that. I have my own personality and I refused to blend in quite as much as the others but a little bit of a stand out aura is a good thing, and I don't think that you could find someone who would disagree with that. _

_I have to say that I think you should talk to your parents. I think as parents they are meant to love you unconditionally. I think as much pressure as they put on you, they'd still love you if you want to follow a life of writing or a life of musical passion. If it's what you love, then they should love you for that. _

_If they don't, and as harsh as it sounds, then they need to be taught how to be parents. They need a lesson in life. I'm sure your father didn't become a doctor because he knew that he would become a part of the world you live in. I'm sure he did that out of passion and love for helping people. At least I hope that is why he did it. _

_I want you to know that your problems aren't pointless, and you should let people know them. I think that you have a communication problem. Again, harsh but the truth. They are not unimportant ramblings and you should value what you have and what you want. _

_I love that you want a tatty guitar case. I think every musician should have a time like that. It's like a classical cliché that a musician should struggle to get his, or her, music heard by the masses. They should have to live of the basic ranges and cheap super noddles. It's a given. _

_I noticed that you said you quote things all the time. I guess you quote great literature but I have a quote from John Mayer, _

"People want to see musicians sing things that come from their own mind and own heart in real time, responding to the moment for them."

_I was hoping that you compose music, and if not give it a try. I think that you could get all this built up emotion out in a song. Maybe you don't even need words as I know how much power instrumentals can hold to the listener. I think that music has the ability to touch the lives of everyone and I think that if you have the ability to play that should share it with whoever you can. _

_I hope that this hasn't been a bunch of insignificant rambling and I hope you read it. I think you could use someone to talk to. You can always leave another letter or leave a phone number. _

_I have one last thing to say and that is be who you want to be. Don't hide yourself, be who and what you are. I try to live by that and I wish that I had done that from a younger age. Enjoy your life, nobody should have pressure like that on them, defiantly not at 16. Enjoy being 16._

_Thank you for some variety. It added something different to my day and I thank you for that. I feel like I have done my good deed of the day and I hope this helps. _

_Thanks for reading this, if it's you and if it's not, well you shouldn't have read it should you? I hope you now feel guilty for reading someone else's letter._

_Goodbye_

* * *

_**So, what do you think? **_

_**Do you like? **_

_**I think that this Bella is going to be a little sassy and a little sarcastic. She'll be honest and not so shy but she'll keep the blush. **_

_**Let me know and feel free to ask any questions **_

_**I have a blog and I'll post various things on there so check it out. **_

_**www(dot)dazzled-by-twilight93(dot)blogspot(dot)com. **_

_**Love to all **_

_**Sarah **_


	4. Pushing You

**I'm going to keep the letters up for maybe another 2 chapters or so. I want there to be lots of letters, but I don't want to write all the letters so I will have full chapters with little extracts from letters in. I want to move the story along a little also. **

**Here's letter number 3. Enjoy! **

To whom it may concern,

I don't know how to reply to the letter that you wrote. I wish I was like that, I will myself to be like that. I have dreams, that I tell my family where to go, and run away. It sounds silly, but I long for a life on the road. Most people crave being safe but I want the opposite. I want danger in my life, at the moment it's far to safe to do anything. I have no freedom and the excuse I get is because they are trying to keep me safe.

My head screams at me to scream at them. It tells me to tell them that I hate this life, and it screams at me to tell them of my ambition to be a musician. I can never bring myself to say it, it gets right to the tip of my tongue and then the words just jump right back down my throat.

I'm incredibly intrigued by you, who ever you may be. You have the attitude that I wish I could have, and do, somewhat, deep down inside. You're honest and you're not afraid to be. I love that. I want that.

I suppose I sound like a right pansy in these letters but seeing as I don't know you, and probably never will, I think it's okay for me to reveal my own feelings.

The letter you wrote actually inspired one of my songs. I compose my own stuff every now and then, when my moms not around when I practice. I'm pretty good, I think. I've never played anything I've written before. I play the classics etc for my parents and they clap accordingly but that may just be because I'm their son and they have to be nice to me – well nice in there book.

I picked up a guitar and just began to play. Everything just sort of came together. It's like everything just fell into place. I want to thank you for that. I haven't been able to compose a full song for about a year. It's like writers block or something. I start off but it never seems to finish. I want to thank you for that, it brought some enjoyment to my life even if nobody gets to hear it.

Thanks you for the inspiration, and I hope that maybe you would consider another letter. Its for completely selfish reasons, I enjoyed the letter and I want to be able to continue to compose. It brings me a little happiness in a world full of sadness. Maybe that's too over the top, I don't know. But it feels like that, sometimes. I feel like I meant to be sad. I think my problems are quite minor in comparison to world poverty and hunger, but they feel major to me and I just want someone to help me fix them.

Please consider composing a reply because I really want to hear from you, mystery girl. You have captured a little piece of me in roughly 300 words so imagine what you could do in another 300 words. Soon, I'll be all yours. Thank you for replying and I hope to hear from you again. Perhaps, one day, if we ever meet, I can play for you. I would like that, and I hope I wouldn't burst your ear drums with my awful singing skills.

Goodbye

**So, what do you think of this letter? **

**They are going to get longer. They are just getting to know one another so they won't be to long right now because they have nothing to talk about yet. They will, worry not. **

**So, can I get a review. I'll ask for five, but I know it probably won't happen but hey, I can ask right? **

**So can I get 5 reviews? If I do, I'll update super fast. **

**Thanks **

**Sarah. l**


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